TODAY AND BEYOND

It’s always you

perfectpaintings — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 03:41:17 +0000

Remember the first time when I saw you. You were so fabulous. You smile to everyone on the stage. You put on a good show to everyone. I just could not resist it. You were so amazing. I didn’t know you at that time but I wished I will know you eventually. So I left with that thought on my mind. Your smile haunted me several times before I could get you out of my head. Then I moved on. Life goes on.

A year has passed. I totally forgot about you. I don’t believe in love at first sight. It was just a little charm of you then.

But there you are. Shining like a morning sun. Smile as bright as I could remember. No one ever told me that loving you could be so right and wrong. But for sure I’m so in love with you. Was it a coincidence or not, I don’t care much. It might be a destiny that our path cross, that we have to walk through it together. It’s so painful and yet it’s so beautiful. I believe it is what they called a true love. Someone that makes me hard to live without. Someone that makes me easy to give and never think of myself.

Now you are leaving. I can feel it. Love hurts. It’s you who has given me hopes. It’s you who has taught me how to love unconditionally. It’s you….it’s always you!

I won’t cry though my heart’s bleeding. I will stand up as always. Smile at you as nothing’s happened as I always do. This is the path I’ve chosen. You won’t see me cry. I’m sure I will be over you eventually.

….

perfectpaintings — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 02:36:12 +0000

I might be sad but I know it is for the betterness.

I don’t mind at all if you hate me because I know this is the only way… Let it hurts and then let it heals…

unfinished

perfectpaintings — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 10:32:07 +0000

Maybe I am too naive to understand about life and how people feel towards each other. But sometimes the feeling is so strong that I just believe that it is the way it should be. That you are really love me the way I love you. But again, in one second everything go away without any trace. Life is not easy anyway.

So I saw your eyes. And they’re telling me about your pain. Did I hurt you that much? You started to act strange. You drew a line between us. And it really hurts me. I want to hold you but I know it’s impossible. Why we always end up like this?

The other day everything seemed so fine. You smile as usual. Your pain went away but not mine……..

Change

perfectpaintings — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 09:56:04 +0000

People always refer me as a good person. But recently I don’t think I am that good anymore. I am not that patient as I used to be. It is so easy to make me mad even though I still can keep my bad temper stay inside. It is so desperate. I know people change but I want it to be in a good direction.

Me

perfectpaintings — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 03:11:30 +0000

I am very moody recently. With lots of problems in my head, I think I might explode in the end. But of course, the problems exist. Still there. Waiting for my actions. I still let people take my happiness away from my reach, I am being sad when people say about something related to my problems, I even feel so lonely when they throw the “shit” right to my face. Well it’s not a good sign for my growing up part. So what to do now? Same old advices. Be yourself and don’t let anyone take your happiness from you. It’s about your own decision. Whether to let them or not….

Sometimes I realize that some people always give the positive ambience to me. Some in adverse. Nobody say it was easy, but I have to move on, even though I stumble and fall. I have to get up and walk again. I believe my heart will lead me through the darkness of the night. I see the light from a distance. The rain might fall onto me, leave my body trembling in this journey. But I can manage it, as always, because I trust myself. I don’t let other people holding my hand when I walk because I want to have the full control. This is who I am. In any particular reason I might fall and let people see my true face, but when I realize that I could not trust them, I will hold back and walk on alone. This is the path I have chosen. I am getting strong day by day. I will finish this journey of mine with the big sincere smile. It always me…. Just like some of my fine people always try to convince me.

I miss you (based on Joey quote)

perfectpaintings — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 04:16:20 +0000

And now that this scared little boy no longer follow me wherever I go, I miss him. I do. Cause there are things I wanna tell him… to relax, to lighten up and that it is all going to be ok. I want him to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. I had many friends who contributed to me to become who I am now. And I do treasure what they did to me. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned but all of these has receded into fond memory now. That’s life… I have to move on now. I have dreams and I have to pursue them. Whenever I feel tired I will sit back for awhile and recall all the fond memories that we shared together once… That I will always feel your present for awhile. I apologize for what I did wrong. This path of mine will take me away from you. Maybe we will have some chances to meet again someday but maybe we will not be that lucky to have it. Anyway, live well. Pursue your own dreams. Our path split here….

i follow my dream. the road i have chosen might be harsh but i will go through it. my heart will take me through the darkness and my mouth will always smile for me, to make me strong enough in my each journey. be myself. there were times when i wish i could be someone that you put on the top of your priority list. there were times when I hope i could be someone that you want the most. you know, i thought this is what i wanted, for you to see me as charming. now, it doesn’t matter anymore. i wanna be me…. just me…

People change….

perfectpaintings — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 03:47:13 +0000

J: People change…

D: They don’t have to!

J: Yes they do. People die, they move away… and they grow up… Everything changes eventually.

D: You got so much pain in your heart…

J: Yes I do! And I still do as we speak… but I move on eventually. That’s for sure.

D: What about me…

J: You will move on as well… Remember, people change!

The doors

perfectpaintings — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 00:24:06 +0000

I woke up this morning and just realized that I still have a lot of unfinished business this year. So let’s say I am going to die tomorrow, I will be a ghost then… LOL. That’s what they say, right!

I guess I need to be more organize now. Don’t want to let my chance fly away from my hand. So I need to think it over and start some actions to make it come true. Let yesterday be in the past. I will walk this passage of my life. I will let it take me to wherever I belong to. I will let life open all the opportunities for me. All I need to do is I have to open the doors.

So get up! Meet your life! Don’t forget to smile….. Smile is a very positive friend who will always make you strong enough to go on even your feet ask you to stop. Smile will always make your heart warm and have more strength to accompany you to carry on. Open the doors…..

Serenity

perfectpaintings — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:25:23 +0000

Seeing the world as beautiful as a blossom flower is not easy. But when you have it in front of you or at least try to have it for a moment, you will feel comfortable. You let go of your worries suddenly. This is the essence of letting go. Everything was beautiful in the beginning. Everything was still beautiful during the time but we ignore it and saw the other side with the eyes full of tears. Everything is still beautiful in the end. Everything is ended when we let go of the attachments. It’s the serenity. I hope I can stay like this forever. It’s so peaceful. It’s so serene.

Starting again

perfectpaintings — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:12:47 +0000

You go, I stay…

You return, I start a brand new day….

There’s nothing good left in this place

We’ll go our different way…..